For You, Daddy!

Sunday, 15 July 2012

Gossip Girl



Meet BFF Two AKA Gossip Girl.



This is my favourite photo of BFF Two. It captures her personality perfectly. Mostly smiling, enjoying simple moments and not afraid of being silly.


It is BFF Two’s birthday on the 20th of July, so this is my (unbeknownst) tribute to her.


BFF is one of Bestie Boy’s friends. I did not like her when I met her the first two times at Nameless Bar, the expat watering hole in the (Chinese) city I lived in. I thought she was what I call a typical “Chinese” girl. One who is unduly friendly with foreigners for the sake of our foreignness more than for who we are as individuals. 


The second time we met at Nameless Bar, I softened my stance towards her a little because I noticed she had snubbed Tomcat*. And Bestie Boy had reiterated that she was smart. So I agreed to meet her when she invited me to dinner a few months later.

*Tomcat is what I called my Other Foreign National, short time …whew ex-flattie in China, to his face. He was a good looking, charming lad in his late 20s with an insatiable appetite for women. I lived with him for 6 weeks and when I was offered my own flat as part of my promotion, I bolted. But alas, I was only 3 buildings down from the long arm of the law(less). Well, he was Tomcat and I was Bobcat. When hiss and spit didn’t work, my claws came out. Freak!


It took me nearly 6 months to believe that BFF Two was really a friendly person. I think it was because my first impression of her wasn’t favourable. I quickly discovered that BFF Two was smart, quick and efficient with any help I needed. Even when I didn’t need it.


For a long time, I refused to let her help me with simple stuff like enquiring about routes and fares for my trips. (It’s hard to find English speaking Chinese people in the service industry.) Once I allowed her to help and found out how good she was, I turned lazy and began making the most elementary requests.


“BFF Two, could you please pick up some dried medlar berries for me from the supermarket near you?”


“BFF Two, could you please check if they have dried Sharon fruit (persimmons) in the open market?”  


“BFF Two, could you book our appointment at the spa, please?”


And then I’d grumble that she had robbed me of my independence.  Ha ha!


I call BFF Two the Gossip Girl because many a times, our conversation would start with me excitedly saying, “BFF Two, I want to gossip!”


When I first told my family and friends about this nickname for BFF Two, they were all baulked. “But you don’t gossip, Kate?” Well, no … But YES!


I love to gossip. I gossip a lot. Rip the poor person’s rep to shreds. B#tch about them like I live in a glass house. And you know what? It feels good!


There’s just one little clause when I embark on this mission impugnable. The person I blab to must NOT know the target of my vicious words. Since BFF Two and I didn’t work together and didn’t have the same circle of friends, she became my ideal gossip partner.


This is something I’m particular about with my friends and co-workers. At every place I’ve worked at, I have found at least two other allies who belonged to the boring lot in the office. We never discussed our colleagues’ personal lives with the others at work or even amongst ourselves.


So if I gossiped, why did I call her Gossip Girl? Let’s just say BFF Two was a quick learner.


BFF Two and I have a favourite hobby in common. We like boy watching. Let me tell you a little story about our ‘hobby’.


One summer, BFF Two and I visited Xinjiang, the northwestern most province in China.


Heaven is a place on earth!

 This is Tianchi Lake in Xinjiang. Tianchi = Heavenly Lake.


When planning our trip to Xinjiang, one of the many things I briefed BFF Two about myself was my penchant for ogling at guys.


“Not the pretty boys; nothing in the head”, I sneered. “You can have those, BFF Two”, I added generously. We even devised a code for delicious sightings.


The first episode was on the very first day of our trip. (I work fast, don’t I?)


We were puttering around in our dorm having just landed Urumqi, the capital of Xinjiang. Our 2 American dorm mates came in for a bit.


As usual, I forced a perfunctory smile, said “Hi” and ignored them.


As usual, BFF Two smiled sweetly and began chatting with them. 


They left shortly to grab dinner or whatever. No sooner they left the room, I swerved to BFF Two and blurted, “I like the guy in the green tee.”


BFF Two, ignorant at that point of the meaninglessness of such words, got excited and said, “They’ve gone out for a short while. You can talk to him when he comes back soon.” 

(BFF Two’s favourite colour is lavender.)


That’s when BFF Two learned the most vital part of my manhunts.


“Are you mad? Why would I want to talk to him?”

“You said you like him!”

“I don’t even know him, BFF Two. And I don’t want to know him.”

“But, but, you, you..”

*rolled my eyes*


Thereafter, BFF Two never made that mistake again. So watch and drool only we did from that time on.


Guys, I really feel sorry for you lot. We, women, are a vexing species fo sho.


BFF Two visited my family a year and a half ago. She spent Christmas 2010 and New Year’s 2011 with us. 🙂


These are a few pictures of some of her happy times here.



Just arrived


BFF Two joined my family everywhere we went. This was her first visit to my country and I was very happy that she got to experience many new (and strange!) things.


At a relative’s silver wedding celebration.

                  Me                                    BFF Two                                        Big Sis



At a family friend’s wedding reception.


Like me, BFF Two loves dancing! After some initial shyness, she was relaxed enough to dance away. She loved the conga lines, The Birdie Dance and The Hokey Pokey.


BFF Two will be back next year to spend Christmas 2013 with us. Yaay!


Until then, the countdown has begun for Kate Spade Girl’s arrival for Christmas this year. 🙂


This image is from


Thank you,  The Book of TerribleCheerful Monk, and mj monaghan  for commenting on my last post.

Thank you, The Book of Terrible, for liking my last post.


P.S.: Cheerful Monk adds a footnote to every post acknowledging those who comment on her previous post. She also links the commenters’ names back to their own blogs.

 I like both these practices of acknowledging the time and effort made to comment, and the free advertising! So I’m doing what I do well – being a copycat! 



  1. Wow! That’s all I have right now.

    Okay, I’ve recovered somewhat over my speechlessness.

    First of all, WOW again. We get some insight into Gossip Girl/Ogling Girl.

    Second of all, I’m lovin’ the boots.

    B) (I like to mix my outline bullets like that, hehehe) – BFF 2 is a trooper for putting up with your shenanigans. 😉

    Thirdly, I like your loyalty to your friends and the fact that you have Christmas planned out in 2013!!!!! Are you serious, my friend?

    Fourthly, The Hokey Pokey – very nice little ditty.

    Lastly, poor BFF 2’s eyes got pecked out by some birds in the pic with you and Big Sis.

    Great post. I’m learning what I suspected about Kate. 🙂


    Comment by mj monaghan — Friday, 20 July 2012 @ 1:22 am |Reply

    • >Wow! That’s all I have right now.
      >Okay, I’ve recovered somewhat over my speechlessness.
      >First of all, WOW again.

      – *giggle*

      >We get some insight into Gossip Girl/Ogling Girl.
      – Not the Goody Two Shoes you thought I was, eh?

      >Second of all, I’m lovin’ the boots.
      – Me, too! I used to be a footwear maniac in my, uh, previous life. Those camel (shade, not hide) suede boots were one of my last big splurges.

      >B) (I like to mix my outline bullets like that, hehehe)
      – If you try to throw people off by doing that, it works, MJ! Ha ha!

      >BFF 2 is a trooper for putting up with your shenanigans. 😉
      – She is! She is also equally sporting, if you know what I mean. We enjoy our boy watching sport together because like me, BFF Two does not tease or lead guys on. No flirtatious eye contact either. And when we see men with other women, even if we do not know their relationship status, those dudes are strictly off ogle limits. We have rules, you know?

      >Thirdly, I like your loyalty to your friends
      – Yes, my loyalty to the people in my life is something I like about myself, too. It’s not too hard though. Whenever I’ve been sad or upset, it’s always been a family member or a friend who’s pulled me out of the dumps or crawled down there with me till I have healed enough to crawl out. People and prayers have always worked for me. Never food, a shopping spree or a getaway. Whether impulsive or planned, I enjoy these three things consciously, not under a fog of despair.

      >and the fact that you have Christmas planned out in 2013!!!!! Are you serious, my friend?
      – Totally, my friend! It’s not hard really.

      When BFF Two came home for Christmas in 2010, she enjoyed the run up to the holiday and the fact that the fun (weddings + dinners at home and out with relatives and friends visiting from out of the country) continued till the end of the first week of January. So she decided on her own to come home only at Christmas. I completely get her wanting to be here at that time of the year and we love that she could share the family holiday with us.

      BFF Two was to have come this year, but there were some emergency illnesses in her family, so this year would be too soon after those. The only downside about her being unable to come this year is that she and Kate Spade Girl (who’s coming from Toronto) won’t meet. They got along well, too, when Kate Spade Girl visited me in China.

      >Fourthly, The Hokey Pokey – very nice little ditty.
      – Yes, it is. I’ve danced to it since my childhood, but I still enjoy it very much.

      BFF Two was like one of those kindergarteners who do their own thing at the annual performances. She would put the wrong limb in the wrong direction, clap and go around incorrectly, too. To avoid her sticking out like a sore thumb (not that she minded, she was a great sport!), all my family members deliberately began putting the wrong moves, too, and we landed up grooving to a lot of laughter as well.

      >Lastly, poor BFF 2’s eyes got pecked out by some birds in the pic with you and Big Sis.
      – Arrgh, MJ! I suck at that art thing. Believe it or not, I still use Paintshop. I chose that shade over my usual ghastly grey and I didn’t feel like the usual strip either. So around and around I went with that mustard thing … pecking her eyes out like an angry bird, albeit unintentionally.

      >Great post. I’m learning what I suspected about Kate. 🙂
      Suspected? What? You mean you never bought my act all along?

      About gossiping. I’ve got a very good network. I tell Mum about people I work with since she’s never met any of them. I tell Big Sis about the people in my city she doesn’t know. BFF One lives in another city, so she gets to hear about people I work with and meet at social occasions. BFF Two gets the dirt on those who live in my neighbourhood.

      Much as I enjoy gossiping, I do not like ruining reputations or tarnishing names, which is why I choose the people who hear my poisonous words. But I really do find some things awful or strange or terrible about some people at times, but I do not know those people well enough to walk up to them and tell them what I think. So my crew gets that, um, pleasure. With the people I love, I open my mouth nice and wide. I’d rather be the first to tell them something than have them ridiculed or gossiped about behind their backs.

      So now you know, MJ, I’m no angel. Wait, a fallen angel is still a kind of angel, yes?



      Comment by For you, Daddy! — Friday, 20 July 2012 @ 12:31 pm |Reply

  2. You are exactly the “goody two shoes” I thought you were. With a dash of shenanigans, and ne’er do well thrown in. Just a dash, mind you!

    I on the other hand am “gts” with about a cup of shenanigans thrown in. Ask MLB – she’ll totally rat me out on that score. hehehe


    Comment by mj monaghan — Friday, 20 July 2012 @ 12:39 pm |Reply

    • >You are exactly the “goody two shoes” I thought you were.
      – Whew! *straightening up and adjusting halo*

      >With a dash of shenanigans, and ne’er do well thrown in. Just a dash, mind you!
      – How perceptive of you!

      Here’s what my Aussie colleague and ex-door neighbour in China wrote about me to some common friends at the end of her tenure.

      Kate lives like a monk, but could break out wild and carefree when the time was right.

      I get accused of being too restrained by some people, and they are right. I let go completely only when I’m with my family and innermost circle.

      In my early 20s, after I graduated (and escaped the shackles of the nuns at college and in the student prison hostel), my fun loving attitude at two parties shortly after, was misconstrued as me being ‘game for anything’ by a few blokes who had had a few too many. I learned my lesson quickly then. The curtain of restraint that came down back then is firmly in place for the most part even today. It doesn’t frustrate me to curb my enthusiasm. ‘Better safe than sorry’ is how I look at it.

      I like being liked for my, uh, kindness or ahem, my wit and things like this; not for the twig size I am or what I wear.

      >I on the other hand am “gts” with about a cup of shenanigans thrown in.
      – A cup? I would think ‘a barrel’ would be more like it.

      >Ask MLB – she’ll totally rat me out on that score. Hehehe
      – Oh, I don’t need to ask YLB, MJ. Your (w)ritings reek of rascalities. But it’s one of your (many) traits that makes your posts appealing. Serious topics, long drawn narration, slumber fests? I’ve got those covered! You’re the fun ‘un!

      Best to you and Cate.



      Comment by For you, Daddy! — Friday, 20 July 2012 @ 11:51 pm |Reply

  3. Where to begin? Beautiful title – cool, hip and “today” – and awesome subject matter; friends rule!
    I love your style; easy-going and accessible but incredibly deep and moving. Nice work.


    Comment by The Hook — Sunday, 22 July 2012 @ 9:20 am |Reply

    • >Where to begin? Beautiful title
      – Uh huh, the title would be a good place to begin. 😉

      >cool, hip and “today”
      I’m such a wannabe. I try.

      >and awesome subject matter; friends rule!
      – Totally! Friends in this realm rule, too! 🙂

      >I love your style; easy-going and accessible
      – I’m glad you feel that. One of the blogging tips I’ve read consistently is – be yourself. And that I am.

      >but incredibly deep and moving.
      – This was part of my intention, too, when thinking about what my blog should be about. I would like people to take something away from my experiences and use it to help their lives. Just as I do with all the blogs I read.

      >Nice work.
      – Thank you, Mr.Hook. I have to churn out ‘nice work’ to keep up with the … no, not them. *gag* I mean worthy bloggers such as yourself.



      Comment by For you, Daddy! — Sunday, 22 July 2012 @ 10:37 am |Reply

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