For You, Daddy!

Tuesday, 15 May 2012

All That Glitters

Is humbug.

I’m talking about me specifically. Yes, me. Bah, humbug? Nah uh. That’s me.

All of you think I’m sweet and friendly and every word I write sparkles with moonbeams. Humbug.

Hook wrote a post in early March. The title was

People Who Still Think Being A Geek Is A Bad Thing!

http://thebookofterrible.wordpress.com/2012/03/03/152-people-who-still-think-being-a-geek-is-a-bad-thing/

Well, I’m a geek DDG i.e. Drop Dead Gorgeous. And yes, the two are mutually exclusive. In my head.

Geeking Out!

  

But as you can see, I will never admit to being one. Oh, not because I fear being persecuted by the hip ones. Oh no. Not at all.

..

….

…….

I can’t.  I cannot come clean yet. About why I will not admit to being a geek.

Let me hide behind Hook’s words instead.  

Hook’s post started off like this.

  

People Who Still Think Being A Geek Is A Bad Thing!

Sadly, these people still walk among us, even in 2012.

They think being a fan boy or girl is somehow linked to a person’s social standing or worth; as if an individual who stands in line for hours – or even days – to get into a convention is any different than someone who lines up for concert tickets or to get into a Coach store. 

   

Right away, I saw my old self in that article. Not as one of the geeks that Hook tried to point out the virtues of, but as one on the other side. One of the other that walks among all of you. Not today. But back in 2008.

I was judgmental back then.

Below, I will paste an excerpt of my correspondence with a friend who I shall refer to by his middle name, Nate. Nate is an engineer.

The excerpt below is one of the many examples of the me of old running down those I thought were not  …. not ….

No. I can’t tell you. But I don’t think like that anymore! (Well.)

Today, I do not judge, uh, certain people for being, uh, a certain way. Not right away, that is. That awful label is not the last thought about them on my mind either. But I still have a few fleeting, flaky thoughts in between. It’s one of my human traits. I’ve accepted this fallibility of mine.

Back to Nate.

Nate has a wide range of interests. One of them is swing dancing. (He likes it so much, he studied and teaches it as well; on an irregular basis because he travels a lot.) The excerpt starts off with us talking about swing dancing. And then I kick it it goes downhill. Yes, my former, judgmental monster rears its vile head. 

Don’t brush it off with, “Oh Kate, you’re too nice to be anything but.” You’ll see, people. You. Will. See.

Nate and I hail from different countries.

K8 + N8

   

When we wrote the following four years ago, both of us were in completely different countries, too. Nate’s text will be in blue and mine in brown.  

       

Nate: One of the coolest things about swing dancing is that I can dance with people from all over the world…we all know the same dance.
Me: That is cool! I never thought of it that way! None, rather far less, of that awkwardness of being around strangers from strange lands with strange habits and speaking in strange tongues.

  

  

Nate: So far I’ve heard two explanations that make sense. One is that, in order to get good at swing dancing, you have to be a bit OCD…which fits the engineers to some degree. Secondly, where else could an engineer touch someone of the opposite sex without getting slapped? 😉
Me: Okay now. You engineering lot? You give yourselves too much (dis)credit. OCD? How about attention to detail? And why would any gal in her right mind want to slap you guys? Okay, okay, I know your ilk along with the accountants and a few others are not so hot with the “hot” chicks.

In Canada, I had watched (yet another) reality show called ‘Beauty and the Geek’. 5 pretty, below average IQ women (to dispel that myth, not all were blondes either) and 5 nerdy blokes were made to live in the same house. I watched it because I was very curious to know whether looks or intellect alone could attract or repel people. I’ve never had a problem with blokes who are dweebs/dorks/one-of-us because I can at least converse with them.  

Anyhoo, what I learned from the show is that initially, each group judged the other solely on appearance. They eventually went beyond the superficial, and personality traits then determined whether someone stuck around or not. There was all that conniving with the eye on the money all the time, of course, and that resulted in some of the nicer contestants to be expelled early.

I tend to be very critical of those who score higher in the looks department, but lack grey cells below the impressive packaging. I feel bad at times for being such a flaming sapiosexual (don’t freak. It’s one of those wisecrack terms for someone who is attracted to the intellect), but I really do get bored if I can’t have a conversation I enjoy with a guy, irrespective of what he looks like. 

  

Bored out of my skull.

  And doing a dash good job of not hiding it. 😦  

  

  

Me: That movie I went for recently, for instance. One of the top male models-turned-duh-I-mean-actor acted in that flick. I liked <Model/Actor’s Name> in the movie because he played a sombre, contemplative role. Then the movie became a hit and he’s (still) all over the news looking all model-ly and stuff. Nothing wrong there. But in real life, he’s not like his reel life character. So I began slamming him for being another pretty boy, for “cheating” me that he had substance (see how judgmental I can be?), etc until last week.

In the local newspapers, I read an interview with him wherein he talked about his daughters’ reactions to having their names tattooed on his … don’t remember where; don’t care either.

The little girls, aged 6 and 4, exclaimed in dismay, “But they won’t go away!”

He replied, “And neither will you.”

I thought that was a beautiful reply. For all the flakiness in that industry particularly, and in the world today, generally, he’s a good dad. I cringed when I read that and vowed not to be so hard on him for looking as hawt he does, but not being as enthralling to converse with.

I’ll just plug my ears the next time I hear him speak. Because I know fo sho he won’t be spewing Einstein’s ‘Theory of Relativity’. Arrgh! I’m so bad!   

   

*covering my eyes*

‘lo?

‘nyone?

Still there?     

There you have it.

That’s who I used to be 4 years ago. I am not ashamed. I am not proud. It was a phase that, mercifully, has ended.

This distasteful phase began when I graduated and began working at my first job. It lasted well over a decade.  I do not know how or why I was so judgmental back then. I do not know why I am so nonchalant today either. I cannot pinpoint the precise turn in tide, too. I attribute it to me evolving as an individual.

I wince sometimes at the thought of some of the unsavoury traits like this one that I embodied in the past. But mostly, I am relieved and grateful not to be like that anymore.

I have not achieved nirvana nor am I readying for sainthood by any stretch of the imagination. I am just a nicer person today. And I can feel the difference.

It feels nice to be nice.    

But remember, all that glitters on this blog today was not necessarily always gold.      

::  :: ::  ::  ::  ::  ::  ::  ::     ACKNOWLEDGEMENT      ::  ::  ::  ::  ::  ::  ::  ::  ::  ::

Thank you, Hook, for readily agreeing to let me use an earlier post of  yours to generate this one.

Um, Hook? I have a question. Do you … do you … still think (my) “Dad would be proud” of me? 

*covering ears in dread of response*

 

    

 



Thank you, orples, mj monaghanThe Book of Terrible and Elvie Rose for commenting on my last post.

Thank you, Robi Jiz, orplesmj monaghan and The Book of Terrible for liking my last post.

***********************************************************************

P.S.: Cheerful Monk adds a footnote to every post acknowledging those who comment on her previous post. She also links the commenters’ names back to their own blogs.

 I like both these practices of acknowledging the time and effort made to comment, and the free advertising! So I’m doing what I do well – being a copycat! 



 

 

 

 

 

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12 Comments »

  1. How could you even ask that question? Dad will NEVER stop smiling as he watches you make your way through life.
    You bring joy to all who know you – whether through this blog or in person – and you always inspire self-reflection. You’ve dedicated an entire blog to Dad. Of course, he’s proud!
    Stop worrying so much and enjoy yourself more, Kate!

    Like

    Comment by The Hook — Tuesday, 15 May 2012 @ 7:34 am |Reply

    • Thanks for the vote of confidence, Hook! I sorta, kinda, almost knew that Dad would be proud if he could indeed tune in to the happenings in this realm, but it felt good to be told that. Although I will admit, I also sorta, kinda, almost knew that your response would be encouraging. 🙂

      >You bring joy to all who know you – whether through this blog or in person
      – Thank you. Your blog, specifically your sarcasm, cracks me up. That’s important, given the mostly dire content of your posts. The humour helps me focus on what I can do, and not get dragged down by a sense of hopelessness.

      >and you always inspire self-reflection.
      – Your posts force me to do the same, too. So in the words of our other blog bud, MJ, right back atcha!

      Thank you again for the inadvertent inspiration earlier and deliberate felicitation now!

      Kate

      Like

      Comment by For you, Daddy! — Tuesday, 15 May 2012 @ 9:00 am |Reply

  2. Greetings Kate… so obviously you’ve changed with time, imagine that? 😉

    I’ve made so many transitions in personality due to time and past experiences. I dare say mine aren’t all ‘nice’. Being born in the year of the ‘Fire Rooster’… Chinese astrology, I can still be judgmental (it is a trait of the sign that I have to fight), though I try not to be.

    While I think we are all attracted to the opposite sex initially by good looks, personality always wins out (with me) in the end. I’ve met a lot of handsome faces, that I’d just as soon spit on, as look at. Too many times, gorgeous people on the outside are not so beautiful on the inside, if you know what I mean. While I could never marry anyone that does not match my intelligence (which is average), I try to accept them as who they are. The real winning attribute to me is heart. I am drawn to people that respect others (and animals), they must have moral and ethical values. I am attracted to people that aren’t so centered on themselves, that they are blinded by all else. I think that is why I’ve always enjoyed your visits so much … you are one of those people that reaches out into another person’s world to spread your joy, your love, your insight, and your respect for others. Not to mention, anyone that serves chicken to a blind mouse under the refrigerator is an automatic winner in my book. I hope as time goes on, you don’t change too much, because from what I’ve experienced from you so far, Kate … you are a real jewel, just the way your are. With that thought in mind, have a wonderful week ahead! 🙂 Marcy

    Like

    Comment by orples — Tuesday, 15 May 2012 @ 9:40 am |Reply

    • >Greetings Kate… so obviously you’ve changed with time, imagine that? 😉
      – I know! Who woulda thunk? Certainly not me. I remember when I was in my mid twenties and I read articles about celebrities who raved about how insightful they had become and how they enjoyed the wisdom they acquired since they got older. I scoffed at them and I sure as heck didn’t believe them.

      Youth is wasted on the young.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

      I know he was talking about me! 😉

      >I’ve made so many transitions in personality due to time and past experiences. I dare say mine aren’t all ‘nice’. Being born in the year of the ‘Fire Rooster’… Chinese astrology, I can still be judgmental (it is a trait of the sign that I have to fight), though I try not to be.
      – That’s what I realise about myself, too. All the things I did not like about myself, they served some sort of purpose because I have never been mean or selfish. A lot of my prejudices and walls were self-protective in nature. Today, I understand why I did what I did, which is why I don’t beat myself up about these human weaknesses of mine. Even the ones I have today, are frailties I choose to keep. In some ironic way, these very human weaknesses of mine help me stay strong. *shrug* I am just mindful at all times to be kind to myself and not bring disrepute to my family.

      >While I think we are all attracted to the opposite sex initially by good looks, personality always wins out (with me) in the end.
      – This has always been the case with me.

      I think I was very sheltered until I began working. All my student life, I was in institutions that are known for their academic excellence. I had no choice but to hang out with the nerds.

      When I began working, for the first time in my life, I found myself dealing with people with intelligence of various ranges. I found it hard to communicate, sought “my kind” and built that awful wall around myself.

      Now I realise the value of the rest of the person.

      >While I could never marry anyone that does not match my intelligence (which is average),
      – The Good Lord/The Great White Cloud/Whoever made us all. Average in one area means you’re excellent in another.

      Oh, Daddy used to tell us, three children – find a partner you can talk to because the sex gets humdrum after a while. Ha ha!

      >The real winning attribute to me is heart. I am drawn to people that respect others (and animals), they must have moral and ethical values. I am attracted to people that aren’t so centered on themselves, that they are blinded by all else.
      – Oh, Marcy! This is exactly like me. I have a few more “Must Haves” to add to that list. I remember when I told Daddy about ‘The List’ years ago, he very seriously looked at me and said, “They don’t make men like that anymore.” Well, I countered, it’s what I’m offering; so sorry, no compromise.

      I haven’t compromised. And I’m not sorry. (That’s a big fat lie. I really wish I had a boyfriend. Like once or twice a year only – New Year’s Eve and Valentine’s. Hee hee!)

      >I think that is why I’ve always enjoyed your visits so much … you are one of those people that reaches out into another person’s world to spread your joy, your love, your insight, and your respect for others.
      – I do not have a huge circle of friends in real life. But the few I have are solid friends; some that go back to our days in nappies to Sundays by the sea all the way to recent times. Each of those friendships has taken time, but with regular nurturing from both sides, my life is rich.

      I’m not surprised that I’m just as selective with my “friends” out here and I’m blessed to have found equally good people in the blogosphere.

      >Not to mention, anyone that serves chicken to a blind mouse under the refrigerator is an automatic winner in my book.
      – Oh, Dora’ll be pleased to know that you remember her!

      Here’s another little story that I can brag about share. I know you’ll like it.

      Over the weekend, when playing in the park with a neighbour’s 4 year old, an ant bit my foot. I recognised it as an ant bite, but didn’t instinctively crush the creature in anger, as I used to until not too long ago. I squatted and blew him away. When the little boy, Cahill, saw me do that, he squealed, “Kill him, Katie! He’s biting you!” And I turned to Cahill and said, “But he doesn’t know he’s biting me, Cahill. He’s hungry and he thinks I’m something to eat. So I sent him away. I hope he finds something to eat soon.”

      Cahill looked at me and pondered over my words in the endearing way that only children can. Aww.

      >I hope as time goes on, you don’t change too much, because from what I’ve experienced from you so far, Kate … you are a real jewel, just the way you are.
      – Ahem, a jewel in the rough, Marcy. There’s still quite a bit of grind and polish required, but it’ll be for the better.

      >With that thought in mind, have a wonderful week ahead! 🙂
      – Thank you kindly. Looking forward to your thought provoking pictures every day, too, until my next post!

      Kate

      Like

      Comment by For you, Daddy! — Tuesday, 15 May 2012 @ 12:31 pm |Reply

  3. Kate,my dear,so far … we sound like two peas in a pod. 😉 I have been referred to as a diamond in the RrRrRough myself … gotta watch those sharp edges, and sand around the solitary masks to really find the shine, sometimes…

    Like

    Comment by orples — Tuesday, 15 May 2012 @ 2:29 pm |Reply

    • >Kate,my dear,so far … we sound like two peas in a pod. 😉
      – We do, don’t we? We both share a few things that are important to us – our families, Mother Earth, animals, kindness. Oh, did I say animals? 🙂

      >I have been referred to as a diamond in the RrRrRough myself … gotta watch those sharp edges, and sand around the solitary masks to really find the shine, sometimes…
      – I think every person is a diamond in the rough. How much we gleam does not only depend on destiny or fate, but how we deal with the hand we’ve been dealt.

      We really have quite a bit of control over the choices we make. Some might aver that we have complete control over our choices, but I know there are circumstances that make it hard for us to sometimes choose what we know is best for us. So I prefer to go with ‘quite a bit of control’. It’s more realistic, and therefore, makes an option less daunting to attempt.

      Kate

      Like

      Comment by For you, Daddy! — Tuesday, 15 May 2012 @ 10:22 pm |Reply

  4. Dear Miss Sparkling Moonbeams,

    What a very interesting subject.

    You do know that none of us have anything mastered in this life?

    I grew up as the sports guy, aka “jock.” I always admired the geeks/intellectuals and the drama people who had true talent, other than just a physical talent.

    So, for me it’s kind of been the opposite. I’ve spent most of my life compensating (since high school) for all the time I didn’t apply myself. I worked my tail off in college to catch up to my peers and have been frantically learning ever since.

    I would be honored to be called a geek by the time it’s all said and done. That I left a legacy of inspiration and knowledge to those I encountered. And encouragement and support.

    Whoa, I just surprised myself by writing so philosophical – something I rarely do.

    So thanks for the thought-provoking post, SBM!

    Thank goodness you don’t post more often, or my brain might explode.

    Have a great rest of May.

    Like

    Comment by mj monaghan — Monday, 21 May 2012 @ 11:13 pm |Reply

    • Hi MJ,

      >Dear Miss Sparkling Moonbeams,
      – I wrote that about myself because I like the moon and everything about it. Yes, yes, you didn’t need any more proof; I am a lunatic. Big Bro certified me decades ago.

      >What a very interesting subject.
      – I thought so, too. Like I wrote, a few lines into Hook’s post, I was reminded instantly of how I used to be. I was a little unsure whether to go ahead at first, but decided that people I did not know personally deserved to see this flip side of my personality, too. I openly acknowledge my weaknesses within my known personal circle. I felt that my readers had a skewed impression of me being the moon princess*. I decided to correct that misperception with this post.

      *Yup. Totally made that up.

      >You do know that none of us have anything mastered in this life?
      – I began to understand that a few years ago. Unlike that time, now I am actually looking forward to growing older because I realise there’s a heck of a lot of wisdom that comes along with ageing. Not always for free, but I’ve learned to wear my battle scars with (self)pride, too.

      >I grew up as the sports guy, aka “jock.” I always admired the geeks/intellectuals and the drama people who had true talent, other than just a physical talent.
      – Aww. The grass is always greener …

      I, too, wished I could be funny or could dance as, um, well as I do now or excel at one sport instead of being an average player of footie (with the boys in the hood!), table tennis and b-ball.

      >So, for me it’s kind of been the opposite. I’ve spent most of my life compensating (since high school) for all the time I didn’t apply myself. I worked my tail off in college to catch up to my peers
      – Good on you for choosing to “catch up”, MJ. Many “let go” of their dreams. And themselves. 😦

      >and have been frantically learning ever since.
      – And that is the most important thing. I don’t mean learning from books that results in a degree, but learning from people, situations around us and things in nature is vital, too.

      >I would be honored to be called a geek by the time it’s all said and done. That I left a legacy of inspiration and knowledge to those I encountered. And encouragement and support.
      – I hereby pronounce thee a Geek, MJ. Welcome to our world. (Lack of exclamation marks denotes flat, geeky, voice.)

      Through your blog, you inspire others and share your newly gleaned knowledge. You encourage and you support via your responses, both to every comment on your blog and others like mine. It’s not easy, but you do it. You da Geek of Pure Goodness.

      >Whoa, I just surprised myself by writing so philosophical – something I rarely do.
      – What a privilege then!

      I was equally surprised when I decided to bite the bullet with the theme of this post. When planning out the schedule for the year (I’m like that), I had never thought I’d ever share this judgmental side of me.

      >So thanks for the thought-provoking post, SBM!
      – Got to get this out of the way regarding the acronym – giggle.

      With Hook, Marcy and you being so accepting of my weakness and so encouraging about looking ahead, I will definitely self-flagellate in future.

      >Thank goodness you don’t post more often, or my brain might explode.
      – Oh dear. Am I one of those? Oh no.

      Well, I have the perfect antidote for my posts – your posts! More often than not, not just your brain, but you will explode … with laughter!

      Like your most recent declaration – I am a blogging savant! As if self-diagnosing and self-annointing weren’t funny enough, your reasons cracked me up, too. (Although I wish they hadn’t come as such a painful price.)

      As Reader’s Digest told me growing up – Laughter is the best medicine. 🙂

      >Have a great rest of May.
      – Thanks, MJ. To you and YLB, too. You both have a lot on your plates right now. Best wishes and prayers for you two.

      Kate

      Like

      Comment by For you, Daddy! — Tuesday, 22 May 2012 @ 8:52 am |Reply

  5. Thank you for your thoughtful response(s), as usual.

    I don’t know if I look forward to your posts more, or your comments back, Truly a treat, my friend.

    Oh, and I can’t believe you have your year planned out ahead of time. Woops, am I being judgmental now??

    Ha, have a great day and week!

    Like

    Comment by mj monaghan — Tuesday, 22 May 2012 @ 11:53 am |Reply

    • >Thank you for your thoughtful response(s), as usual.
      – Guess who I learned that vital tip from? Daddy and Mummy, of course! I kid. In the blogosphere, you are one of the few who’s shown me how to do it. It’s not easy at all, but you have been consistent since your Freshly Pressed post.

      >I don’t know if I look forward to your posts more, or your comments back,
      – I know exactly what you mean. My posts are like those long, boring, big audience speeches. My comments are one-on-one sessions. 😉

      >Truly a treat, my friend.
      – Thank you, MJ.

      >Oh, and I can’t believe you have your year planned out ahead of time.
      – I know! I’m like that with pretty much everything.

      This post, for instance. Hook had written his in early March. I couldn’t post this (response/reflection) back then itself because the posts I had chosen for March and April and early May all fit around certain events. 15 May was the first non-event related slot I could free up.

      A few years ago, I learned to leave room for unexpected events and detours. Changes in plans (even if in my head only) weren’t something I used to handle well earlier. Now I relish them because I tackle them as challenges (something I enjoy). Besides not getting worked up, I’ve found that, more often than not, the outcome has been just as positive, and that there is always something new I have learned.

      >Woops, am I being judgmental now??
      – No, you’re not. Differ’nt strokes ‘cos we’re diff’rent folks. 😉

      >Ha, have a great day and week!
      – Here’s what’s happened so far this week.

      * Pampered a friend’s 84 year old mum who’s hospitalised with a broken hip. (She’s mending very well.)

      * A childhood friend (now a priest) is in town for the Feast of Mary Help of Christians (on 24 May). So I get some face time, too.

      * BFF One’s daughter has secured admission into med school.

      So, two ups and one down. Not a bad week at all. 🙂 Hope yours is just as good.

      Kate

      Like

      Comment by For you, Daddy! — Tuesday, 22 May 2012 @ 10:36 pm |Reply

      • You are one busy little trooper, my friend.

        See how you are: Always talking about someone else. Very selfless!

        And yes, my week is going pretty well. 🙂

        Like

        Comment by mj monaghan — Tuesday, 22 May 2012 @ 11:34 pm

      • >You are one busy little trooper, my friend.
        – Yes, Sir, busy I am. But no more or no less than most.

        >See how you are: Always talking about someone else. Very selfless!
        – Only in my comments, MJ! My posts are pretty much all about You-Know-Who. 🙂

        >And yes, my week is going pretty well.
        – Great to hear!

        Kate

        Like

        Comment by For you, Daddy! — Wednesday, 23 May 2012 @ 12:24 pm


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